世界观点：校长来信 | 以更温柔的心帮助未成年的孩子们 A Primary Principal Letter to HD Families

2022年，12月，一个特殊的冬天，一些困难的时刻。

北京赫德用心为全校每一个家庭准备了暖冬礼包，由校车司机、校车阿姨和保安哥哥一起，为孩子们亲手送上。校车那一抹亮眼的黄就像是川流的阳光，家长们说：看到由远及近熟悉的校车灯光，整个冬天都瞬间被点亮。

(资料图)

每个孩子的礼包里，有一封学部专属的校长来信，今天让我们先来一起来读一读小学校长们的话。

1000份礼包在安静的赫德大厅等待出发

以更温柔的心，

帮助未成年的孩子们

——写给赫德大人们的一封信

亲爱的赫德家庭的大人们：

大家好。

甲骨文的“大”和“人”是同一个字：双脚站稳，立于天地之间。劈开混沌，分开天地，并为万物命名，是“大人”的使命。

于是，孩子们看到了花鸟鱼虫、大江大河，他们也因此能超越眼前之物，看向更辽阔的星空、更神秘的宇宙。

于是，才有了“梦想“、“希望”、“未来”这样让大人们不懈怠、不消沉的词语。

身处时代的浪潮中，没有人是一座孤岛。疫情反复的日子里，任何人的悲伤都是我们的悲伤。但是，我们又能迅速跳脱出来，专注于我们所能把握的，所能掌控的事情之中：家长们用最温柔、坚定的心，陪伴孩子，支持孩子，也在不断鼓励着老师们。老师除了上课、批改作业，和孩子们的一对一沟通，还有大量的需要教研的时间：从一个字，到一道题，到一本书……线上教研，大家热烈讨论，真诚对话，我们是多么希望，能为孩子挡住外面的喧嚣，让他们的天空永远湛蓝。

虽然额外的消耗太多，可是，不曾听到老师们一句抱怨，反倒看到更加饱满的热情：反复讨论课堂细节，细致批阅作业，耐心一对一指导。就像一个老师说的：孩子是我们的明天啊。

是啊，明天。

我们也因此知道，让孩子成为灿烂的明天，就要珍视他们的每一个今天。今天还不够美好，那我们就创造一个出来吧。所以，我们就创造出来了啊。今天，当下，我们过的每一分钟，有爱，有热情，有悲悯。孩子进步了，欢欣鼓舞；孩子眼睛疲惫了，焦灼不安；孩子主动约聊学习，雀跃不已……

我们都渴望课堂应该有的样子：围绕着伟大事物，我们和孩子们围坐在一起，彼此对视，发表观点，相互碰撞；孩子们会会心一笑，也会争得面红耳赤；安静的写作业时，一块橡皮在桌子上的游动，都是润泽的。

我们也都渴望教育应该有的样子：孩子们自由奔跑欢笑，孩子们享受友情，也学习尊重、责任、诚实、公平和同理心，孩子们去探索每一个领域，并在探索中发现自己，成为自己。

对明天有多大的渴望，当下，我们就有多大的努力。

疫情之中，我们对活泼泼的生命也有了更多的思考。每一个善良而勇敢的人，每一个能独立思考又有同理心的人，从小，就应该被温柔以待。怀着爱的理性，才是真正的理性。

爱孩子，就要理解孩子，鼓励孩子，给到孩子安全，让孩子有尊严和成就感，是大人们的第一任务。

孩子和大人一样，有独立的人格，独立的世界。但孩子心智还没有成熟之前，又必须需要大人的保护。成长的路上，没有一帆风顺。孩子会跌倒，会受伤，会委屈，会痛哭，会有很多说不出的情绪，会遇到很多过不去的坎儿。一个能够被大人理解的孩子，也能学会去理解自己，理解他人和世界，能无论遇到什么，都能向着明亮的方向；一个能不断被大人鼓励的孩子，天生内在的勇气就能被发展出来，并保持终生。鼓励不是赞美，鼓励是对孩子的信任和信心，赞美则要慎重：如果通过赞美来激励孩子，赞美就成了目的，是对内驱力的损伤。

能够被理解和鼓励的孩子，遇到伤痛，也能自愈，伤痛就成为成长的营养。这首诗，很能说明教育的疗愈功能。

海

废名

我立在池岸

望那一朵好花

亭亭玉立

出水妙善——

“我将永不爱海了！”

荷花微笑道：“善男子，

花将长在你的海里。”

我们当然也知道啊，大人也是平凡的人，家长们要照看孩子，还要处理自己的工作；很多老师也是上有需要照顾的老人，下有上网课的娃，我们会有自己的疲惫和焦灼。我还是引用郭初阳老师的一段话吧：

“要自知己身的限度，圣女小德兰自比为一朵小白花，特雷莎嬷嬷说自己只是一支铅笔，跌倒后又站起，破碎了方愈合。心里作难的老师，深知三折肱为良医的道理，带着自己的伤痕，来更温柔的帮助那些未成年的孩子们。”

字敲到这里，心里一阵阵温热。

想到家长们说的一句话：鸡飞狗跳的居家生活中，孩子们幸好还有老师的陪伴。

老师们在亲爱的家长那里，得到的理解和鼓励，是莫大的力量。

大雪落，一年过，让我们一起迎接冬至，那个太阳重生的日子。

一份礼物，一封来信，表达着我们每一位赫德人的愿望：

愿所有的大人安好。愿所有的孩子安好。愿每一个笑颜尽快重聚于校园。

愿每一个赫德的大人，永远活成一束光，孩子们就会追光而行；

愿每一个赫德的大人，永远相信自己的力量，孩子们就会相信自己；

愿每一个赫德的大人，永远保持心中的善良，孩子们就会安宁从容。

让我们一起，把“大人”这两个字，活出来，亮起来。

北京赫德小学部

常丽华、杨玉翠、Kim Fisher、Ilana Stadler

2022年12月

昼夜忙碌不息的赫德校车和赫德人

赫德孩子们和家庭们分享快乐

Support our children with a gentler heart

---A letter to HD parents

Dear HD family parents:

Hello everyone.

In ancient Chinese, ‘adult’ is described as "big" and "human", standing firmly on both feet between heaven and earth. It is the mission of the "big human" to split the chaos, separate the heaven and the earth, and name all things.

And so, the children saw flowers, birds, fish, insects, rivers and they were able to look beyond their eyes to a broader starry sky and a more mysterious universe.

And therefore we have words like "dream", "hope" and "future", which ensure that adults are not careless nor lose hope.

In the tide of the times, no one is an island, and anyone"s sorrow is our sorrow. However, we can quickly jump out and focus on what we can grasp and control: parents accompany and support their children with the most gentle and firm hearts, and they also constantly encourage teachers. In addition to classes, our teachers spend a lot of time correcting homework, in one-on-one communication with children, and preparing for lessons- from a word to a question to a book. At faculty meetings, everyone discusses enthusiastically and talks sincerely. How we hope that we can block the hustle and bustle outside for our children, so that their sky will always be blue.

Never have we heard a complaint from teachers. Instead, we see more enthusiasm, repeated discussions about classroom details, careful homework reviewing and patient one-to-one guidance. As a teacher once said, “children are our tomorrow”.

Yes, tomorrow.

We also know that to give children a bright “tomorrow”, we must cherish every “today” of their lives. If today is not good enough, then let"s create one. So, we created it. Today, right now, every minute we live, there is love, passion, and compassion. The children have made progress and we are rejoicing; the children"s eyes are tired in the online classes and we are anxious; the children take the initiative to learn, and we are excited...

We all yearn for what the classroom should be like: sitting together with children, looking at each other, expressing and exchanging opinions around great things. The children will smile gently with understanding, and they will also debate fiercely with each other. When quiet homework time comes, even the smallest sound can be heard.

We are all long for what education should be like: children running and laughing freely, enjoying friendship, learning respect, responsibility, honesty, fairness, and empathy, and exploring every field, finding themselves through their exploration.

How eager we are for tomorrow, how much effort we put in today.

During the epidemic, we also had more thoughts on the vitality of life. Every kind and brave person, every person who can think independently and has empathy, should be treated gently from early childhood.

To love children, we should understand them, encourage them and give them safety. Letting children have dignity and a sense of achievement is the first task for adults.

Children, like adults, have independent personalities and independent worlds. But before the child"s mind is mature, one must need the protection from adults. There is no smooth sailing on the way to growth. Children will fall, get hurt, be wronged, cry bitterly, have many unspeakable emotions, and encounter many difficult hurdles. A child who can be understood by adults can also learn to understand himself, others and the world, and can move in a bright direction no matter what he encounters; a child who can be continuously encouraged by adults can develop his natural inner courage and keep it for life. Encouragement is not praise. Encouragement is trust and confidence in children. We should be careful with praise: if children are encouraged by praise, praise will become the purpose and this will cause damage to the internal motivation.

Children who can be understood and encouraged can heal themselves when they encounter pain and turn the pains into nutrition for growth.

Of course, we also know that adults are ordinary people, too. Parents need to take care of their children while handling their own work; many teachers also have elderly people to take care of and younger children who have online classes. We will have our own fatigue and anxiety. Let me quote a passage from Teacher Guo Chuyang:

"Be aware of your own limitations. Saint Teresa compared herself to a small white flower. Mother Teresa said she was just a pencil who fell and stood up again-only once she was broken could she heal. Teachers who are struggling deeply understand this Chinese saying: one can only be a good doctor when he has broken his own bones several times. With our own scars, we come to help those children more gently."

I felt warm when I wrote this.

I thought of what parents said about the busy and messy stay-at-home time: “ Our children are blessed to be accompanied by their teachers.”

The understanding and encouragement that teachers get from the parents is a great strength.

The “Greater Snow” has passed and let us welcome the winter solstice together, the day when the sun will be reborn.

With this gift pack and this letter in your hands, we would like to express our sincere wishes to the HD community:

May all adults be well. May every child be well. May every smiling face reunite on campus soon.

May every adult of HD lives as a beam of light, and the children will follow the light;

May every adult of HD believes in their own strength, and children will believe in themselves;

May every adult of HD keeps kindness in heart, and the children will be peaceful and calm.

Let us live out and light up the word "Big Human" together.

HDBJ Primary

Kim Fisher, Ilana Stadler,Amy Chang, Yucui Yang

December, 2022